My older children

Joe was extremely generous with my kids and extremely attentive at the beginning. That waned, especially when our two youngest were born. There was a lot of emotional, verbal and covert abuse similar to what he did to me. Then he would buy them lots of things. It was a cycle of love bombing and devaluation.

When I was trying to decide whether to leave Joe, all three of my older children wanted to pick up their lives and move out of that house, leaving their teams, clubs, and friends behind. Not one of them wanted to stay. That is how bad it was for them. We left it all behind to get away from him. They met with the best interest attorney individually to talk about what was going on.

Joe’s criticism of the older children was often harsh and uncalled for. His verbal attacks on them were unbelievable. He would describe them as “drains on his resources”. His expectations of them were not realistic. He often told me that “there was no hope for them” or they were “past the point of help”. He got into multiple physical fights with one of my children who is a gentle, caring being.

Shortly before we left Maryland, there were serious mental health issues arising in the kids. I took one of the children to the family doctor because of the severe depression and slipping grades. The doctor met with my child individually and one of her recommendations was to remove him from the home.

My child slept with a hammer beside his bed for years because of Joe.

After I left he would demand that he be allowed to talk to them. They would not want to and he just would not accept it. He made them extremely uncomfortable. Of course, he blamed me.

I testified about all of this in court. I have a lot of documentation and other information concerning my older children, but I do not want to share publicly. They will speak out and tell their stories if and when they want to.